Gerald Loves the Children

I have been approached by a publisher for whom I once worked to produce a pictographic book for young readers. The publishing house is a twat-filled joint, but they do have money, and that means something today. And besides, it's for the children.

So the book: The volume shall be a handsome yet sturdy tome complete with scratch-'n'-sniff cards entitled Doctor Atricus' Picture Book of Pustules, Abscesses, and Oozing Sores. It will be suitable for coffeetable display and shall be available for less than $80.00 at all fine bookstores by second quarter, 2010.